Fiction in Three Movements
by Tsu-chanB
Summary: Shana always hated asking for help.It just meant getting in people's way.But she needed it, and at a university concert she had to ask. Shuichi offered to help and Shana had no idea that the evening would become more than an act of civil service. KuraXOC
1. Part One: A Little Night Music

A Little Night Music

A fanfic by Tsu_chanB

Shana sighed lightly and shifted in her seat on the wooden bench, already tired of waiting. She checked her watch again to see that only fifteen minutes had passed since she arrived at the nearly silent music hall.

It was Friday night and instead of going out partying Shana had decided on spending a relaxing night listening to a live classical performance, played by her university's philharmonic orchestra. The concert wasn't supposed to start for another hour, but Shana had wanted to make sure she arrived on time and ended up an hour early. That wasn't new, though. She was always afraid of getting places late, of not knowing where she was going or if she had arrived at the place she was supposed to be at. But, such was the life of the blind.

Shana shook her head in exasperation at herself, lightly running her fingers over the collapsed walking stick in the pouch attached to her purse. It had already been four years since she lost her sight and she had learned to adjust fairly quickly, but the disability always loomed in the back of her mind, always reared its head when she wanted to do something or go somewhere.

Her friends helped, of course. They led Shana places and gave her rides, told her what she wasn't seeing so she could create mental pictures. But she hated being a burden and often didn't ask for help, even when she needed it. That was why she lived on campus and went through great pains to memorize the terrain. Shana knew where all of her classes were and other important places, but the worry still nagged at her. She was always early in the fear of being late.

Shana twitched lightly at the sound of one of the heavy double doors creaking open, letting a blast of cold winter air into to warm entrance area. She shivered and pulled at her coat for a moment until she felt warm again. Now there were three people in the room.

Shana heard high heels click across the tile; a woman. The woman sat across from her, only a few feet away, and began rummaging through her bag. Shana sighed again and fiddled with the end of her walking stick. After a while she finally pulled a book from her purse and began to read.

Reading was one of her favorite things to do and Shana had quickly learned to read in Braille after she lost her eyesight. The only hobby that she had that remained completely unaffected by her lack of sight was listening to music. Shana listened to almost every type of music and spent a great deal of time the last four years developing and enhancing her knowledge of music. Live concerts of any sort were her favorite. That was why Shana would rather spend a Friday night alone with music than with a group of friends on the town. Parties had lost their excitement for her. There were too many sounds, too many people and not enough space. Shana always ended up feeling in the way and claustrophobic. Needless to say, her social prowess lost its flare. Shana much rather preferred one on one conversations or small groups and had resorted to solitude more often than not.

Half an hour passed and more people entered the foyer, soon filling it with sounds of loud conversation and laughter. Shana checked her watch again, feeling the position of the dials on the small circle. They would open the doors in another ten minutes. She had been to a number of these free concerts before. They were mostly for the benefit of the musicians in the School of Music, for them to perform in front of an audience, so the school allowed free admission. Also it gave the school good publicity and many teachers used it as a way to give students out of class assignments; they had no excuse when it was free.

That was another reason Shana was attending the concert. Her music history teacher was basing an assignment off of the students' concert attendance. She didn't mind it; she would have come to the concert anyway.

Shana put her book away and shifted in her seat again, dreading the inevitable. She was going to have to ask for help. Shana wasn't familiar with that particular music hall, there were many in the school and she was used to going to a different one. Shana knew there were stairs on the other side of the doors but she didn't know where they were exactly. She and stairs were often a dangerous combination. Not to mention there were a lot of people that would be looking for seats and crowding the aisles. Shana didn't want to run into anyone and she liked to sit in the very front, as close to the sounds of the orchestra as possible. She hated to admit it, but help would be necessary.

She regretted not bringing one of her friends, but most of them didn't enjoy classical music as much as Shana and she didn't want to make them sit through a boring concert for her sake. Also, most already had plans. It was Friday night, after all.

"Excuse me," Shana's voice barely broke into the loud conglomeration of voices. "Does anyone know if they're passing out the slips for students?" She never asked for help directly. Usually whoever was kind enough to offer a small service would be willing to help with a larger one.

No one answered right away and the noise volume stayed the same. Shana waited another few moments, hoping she wouldn't have to ask again and draw more attention to herself.

Someone sat beside her, the rustle of clothing alerting Shana's ears of the presence. Fingers lightly brushed against her arm. The person wanted to make sure she knew of his proximity before he spoke.

"Hello." The voice beside Shana was distinctly male, despite its softness. "My name is Shuichi. What was it you said you needed?"

"Hi Shuichi," she said. Shana always used names right away to remember them easier since there was no way for her to remember someone by face. She gave him her name in return. "I was actually looking for the slips they pass out for students. Do you know if they have any?"

"I don't know for sure. I don't attend classes here, so I'm not certain what they would look like. Or were you looking for a program of this evening's performance?" he responded. He was very well spoken and Shana immediately assumed she was speaking with an older gentleman.

"Oh, no; they pass out little pink slips for students to fill out so the teacher knows that they came."

"I will go and look. Wait here a moment," Shuichi said before Shana felt him leave her side.

He wasn't gone long before she heard the clink of a lock being opened in the door to the concert hall beside her. The doors were opened and the stoppers put down as the crowd meandered through to the concert hall.

Shuichi returned soon after, having successfully retrieved the pink slip. He helped Shana fill it out and return it to the guy he got it from as they waited for the throng to pass. Shuichi remained seated beside her and seemed in no hurry to move.

"Would you like to sit together?" Shuichi asked before Shana could request his aid. Her shoulders dropped slightly in relief as she agreed. Shuichi took her hand in his and helped her up. He remained one step ahead of Shana as he guided her into the concert hall.

There were still enough people crowding the entrance to make their passage difficult. Shuichi had to stop her from running into someone more than once. He stopped and Shana followed his lead. She could feel other people close by and guessed that they were waiting in line.

"There are three steps directly ahead," Shuichi warned as he beckoned her to begin moving again. "The rail is to your right."

Shana reached out, flailing for a moment until her fingers brushed against cold metal. The stability of the rail and Shuichi's firm, gentle grip made the obstacle of getting down the few steps much easier. At Shana's request, Shuichi led her all the way down the aisle to the seats beneath the stage. He helped her into her seat and sat beside her.

Shana fidgeted nervously. She knew it would be rude to sit silently until the concert began. Shuichi was helping her of his own good will, after all. Polite conversation would be the least she could do to compensate him. It was just difficult for her since she couldn't be sure what type of person she was dealing with. Shana didn't know what to talk about, what kind of questions to ask.

But once again Shuichi broached the subject before she could worry too much about it.

"So you go to school here?" he asked. "What is your intended major?"

She felt relieved again, even though his question hit on a sore spot with her. All of Shana's plans for college had changed the day she lost her eyesight. "I'm not sure yet, Shuichi. Right now I'm working toward getting my Associates degree. So I'm not going to worry about my major until I have to."

"Fair enough." She could hear the smile in his voice.

Shana took a turn at asking a question. "And what may I ask brought you to this concert? Just getting away from home for a night? I know Friday night outings become tamer as you get older."

"Something like that," he said, still smiling. "I'm curious to know, how old do you think I am?"

She tensed at his question, silently wondering if she had offended him. Shana took a guess at his age anyways and hoped that she wasn't digging herself into an even bigger hole.

"Judging from your voice and the way you speak, I'd say mid-thirties, early forties."

Shuichi laughed at that. Shana's face began to gather heat in her embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," she quickly apologized. "I didn't mean to offend. There's just no easy way for me to guess that sort of thing."

"No, that's quite alright. I was not offended, merely amused," he said as his laughter subsided.

"How old are you then? If you don't mind me asking."

"Not at all. I am twenty-three. I actually came to see my little brother perform. He plays viola in the orchestra," Shuichi explained.

"Oh." Shana couldn't think of anything else to say for a few moments and Shuichi didn't seem too concerned about keeping the conversation going. She hardly minded. The lull gave her a chance to regain her bearings after her initial embarrassment.

Some of the musicians had entered the hall, taking their seats onstage. They diligently began practicing sections of the pieces they were going to perform. The hall quickly filled with the discordant sounds of music.

"Are you a student too, Shuichi?" Shana finally asked. She disliked talking to strangers, but she really enjoyed hearing him speak. His voice was very calm and he had a laid back attitude that eased her constant worrying.

"No. I work for my father. He owns a small business and wants me to take over when he retires," he said.

"Is that what you wanted to do?"

"I had no other plans." He skirted the question. Shana frowned in return.

"Why not?"

A silence settled between the two as more musicians added to the cacophony of sound onstage. Shana guessed that her question caught him off guard.

"I suppose I'm not a very ambitious person," he finally answered.

"Hm. You don't sound like the type to just float along, either," she said. Shana wasn't even sure why it mattered that much. His life decisions weren't her business to begin with.

"What gives you that idea?" Shuichi asked.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. With the way you speak, I can tell you're well read. That takes a certain amount of discipline and ambition, as it were. Also, you helped me even though you knew it would require work and sacrificing your time to do it. Lazier and less motivated people usually try to stay as far away from me as possible." Shana smiled grimly at that; just another cold fact about her disability.

Shuichi was silent again. Shana didn't have much time to be nervous about it though, because the musicians stopped playing. The concert was about to begin.

Clapping began in the audience and Shana followed their lead, knowing that the conductor had entered. Silence followed for nearly a minute. Shana heard the small noises of the orchestra and audience. People shifted in their chairs and adjusted instruments. Someone sneezed far behind her.

She heard the sharp intake of breath from the conductor and the music began. Shana recognized the piece after the first few measures. Mozart's Serenade in G. It was one of her personal favorites.

She smiled and relaxed into the all encompassing sounds of music for the next twenty-five minutes, completely enjoying the art. Everything else disappeared from her mind.

After a round of applause from the audience the orchestra played another Serenade by Mozart, this one in D Major. That piece lasted twenty minutes and ended with the beginning of intermission.

The noise of peoples' chatter filled the hall with a completely different kind of sound. Many moved from their seats to use the restroom or talk to others. Shana remained seated, waiting for the next section to begin.

"Do you need anything?" Shuichi asked from beside her.

She twitched at his voice, having forgotten he was there. His question also caught her off guard. Usually she had to ask her companion for help before it was given. But Shuichi asked before she could.

"Oh, um, no. Thank you," Shana said after a moment.

After waiting for a minute she realized he wasn't going anywhere either. Shana decided to begin another discussion.

"What do you think of the music so far, Shuichi?"

"It's very good. They've done a wonderful job," he said.

She hummed her agreement. "The first violins fell off in the first piece. But that's okay. They are still learning, after all. That's why they're in college. Everyone else played extremely well."

"I'm curious," Shuichi admitted after a short lapse in conversation. "Did you walk here? Do you have friends that help you get around?"

"Yeah. I live on campus so it's not that far of a walk. My friends are all out doing their own thing. I mean, who wants to sit in a boring classical concert and tend to a blind girl when you could be out partying and having fun?" Shana shrugged again. She didn't blame her friends for going elsewhere. Serving someone else at your own loss wouldn't have been her first choice either.

"I would," Shuichi answered immediately. "But perhaps that is because I enjoy classical music and the blind girl I am tending to happens to be very beautiful."

A blush spread across her cheeks at his blatant compliment. She was surprised into muteness. No man her age had ever called Shana anything close to beautiful. But she was learning more and more that Shuichi wasn't like other college-age guys.

". . . Thank you," she said, unable to think of anything else.

"I see you don't receive compliments like that very often," he said. "A pity since it's the truth."

Shana fidgeted nervously with the end of her walking stick, not sure what kind of response to give to that. After a minute she tried responding with the truth of her situation.

"I guess I scare a lot of people off, guys especially. I'm very high maintenance and most guys are hardly ready for the responsibility of a normal relationship, let alone one with twice the work. Besides, people have a hard time knowing how to act around me. Most of the time I'm treated like a porcelain doll that'll break easily," she explained.

"Does that bother you?" Shuichi questioned.

Shana shook her head. "Not anymore. I would get mad at people for treating me differently when I first went blind. But now I see that it's because they want to help but don't know how. I still get annoyed, but I know their carefulness is out of ignorance."

If Shuichi had a response he didn't share it. The hall quieted again as the conductor and a larger orchestra returned to the stage. They played Mendelssohn's Fifth Symphony. Shana was once again lost to the music.

The music ended, the conductor left, and the orchestra and audience began to disperse. Shuichi slid his hand into Shana's, helping her to her feet.

"Would you mind if I stopped to see my brother?" Shuichi asked.

Shana couldn't understand why he would ask her in the first place. Then it dawned on her that he meant to stay with her.

"Shuichi, you don't have to stay. I'll be fine on my own," she told him, hoping he would agree and leave to find his brother. She had already taken enough of his time.

"Nonsense," was his response. "I want to help you."

Shana wasn't sure how to dispute that. It wasn't like she was forcing him to stay. She had given him an easy way out. Shana decided not to argue since she needed the help anyways. It was just that she hated asking, hated getting in someone else's way.

Shuichi's hand moved, guiding hers to link into his elbow. He began to walk and she followed him onto the stage and to the side, where she assumed the backstage area was.

"Hey Bro, you made it!" A familiar voice called. Shuichi moved in that direction and stopped. Shana could hear the person packing up his instrument.

"Suuichi?" she questioned as the name that went with the voice came to her mind.

"Hey Shana!" he returned the greeting excitedly.

"You know each other?" Shuichi beside her asked.

"Yeah," his brother responded. "We're in Music History together. You helping Shana out, Shuichi?"

The brothers continued to talk for several minutes. She tried to keep up with the conversation, if for no other reason than to not get confused. It would have been easier if they didn't throw each other's names in the mix. That kept throwing her off, but after a little bit Shana could easily differentiate between their voices.

Just by listening to them, it was hard for her to imagine them as brothers. The older Shuichi was much more reserved and seemed to like taking his time when responding to a question or comment. And Shana already knew the younger one. He was outgoing and easy to befriend, from what she heard in class.

The two men said their goodbyes and parted way, the younger leaving to hang out with some friends and the older stubbornly refusing to leave Shana's side.

"Really, Shuichi," she insisted. "It's getting late. You should head home."

"Oh? And what about you?" he asked as he led her offstage and back up the aisle to the foyer.

"I can take care of myself. I have for a while now," Shana defended obstinately.

He chuckled. "I must refuse your offer. The thought of leaving you by yourself on a Friday night is unhealthy for my conscience. And that's one of the things I like to keep in good shape."

She sighed and shook her head, giving up on convincing him. He opened the door of the foyer out into the cold winter air. Shana followed him for a few steps before he stopped.

"I propose a compromise," Shuichi said. "I promise to return home if you will agree to join me for a cup of coffee."

She turned more toward his voice. "That doesn't sound like much of a compromise. It seems more like a way for you to keep helping me."

Shana laughed at the ridiculousness of the argument. "But I'll go for it. You would probably trick me into getting your way anyways."

Shuichi started walking again, the smile returning to his voice. "You are rather quick to judge, don't you think? I have given you no reason to believe that I would deceive anyone."

"Yes, but it's not that hard to do with me. And you're smart enough to figure it out," she said.

"You are more perceptive than you think. I believe it would be more difficult to fool you than many others your age," Shuichi said more seriously.

"Oh? Does that include you, being someone of my age?" She joked. "You know what I think? I think you've been tricking me this whole time and you're actually a forty year old looking to get some from a young college girl. What do you say to that, Shuichi?"

"Completely preposterous," he laughed. "If that were true I would be a professor."

She grinned in response. Shana already knew he wasn't. There was something in his voice and actions that made her believe him. He acted as if he cared for more than just himself, and that she had somehow been added to that circle. And Shana could hear the confidence in him. It wasn't the cocky self-conceit of one who has been handed success wherever he went, but of the man who has failed and afterward succeeded through perseverance and the humility to learn from those mistakes. She couldn't help but respect him for it.

"I don't know, you still sound pretty old to me. Are you sure you're only twenty-three?" she asked, only halfway joking.

"That's what my mother has always told me," Shuichi smiled. "Have you never heard the term 'old soul'?"

"Hm. I'll buy that. So you're only old on the inside? What happens when you get old, then? That kinda ruins all the fun. With all that extra wisdom you get from being an 'old soul' you miss out on all the twenty-something dramatics and don't get to learn from the mistakes of being young and inexperienced."

He chuckled again and stopped before pulling open the door to a burst of warm air. The bells on the café door jingled and they entered.

"That just gives me more room for mistakes when I turn fifty," Shuichi said.

Shana laughed lightly, not wanting to disturb any of the other customers. The two stopped at the counter and Shuichi placed his order, a cappuccino. Shana let the girl behind the counter know what drink she wanted as well before Shuichi led her to a table and helped her into a seat.

He left and returned shortly after with their drinks. He sat across from Shana and there was silence for a few moments.

"I have another question of curiosity," he admitted.

"Shoot," she said, taking a sip of her drink.

"When you were speaking earlier it sounded as if your blindness was unexpected. May I ask how that came about?"

"Sure. That doesn't mean I'll answer," Shana shrugged. There was a short silence and she grinned.

She began again. "No, seriously you're right about it being unexpected. Four years ago I was in a really bad car accident with a friend of mine. The car was t-boned on my friend's side and flipped over a few times. A piece of glass from her window hit me across the face, right at eye level." Shana pulled her hand across her face horizontally in a cutting motion. "My arm also broke in two places and I had a concussion. I had to have several surgeries for my eyes and they fixed up my nose pretty well. My friend Kylie didn't make it. The same glass that hit my eyes went through her head."

Another silence settled between Shana and Shuichi. This one was a lot more brooding than those before. It lacked the warmth of his calm attitude. She shifted nervously, waiting for him to speak.

"There is little that I can say. I am sorry you had to go through that," he said.

"There's not much anyone can do about it," she shrugged. "I'm just thankful that I'm still alive. Well, I wasn't so much then, but I've gotten used to the change. It was hard at first and I hated it all. Then I realized that you can't sulk forever, it's just a waste of time, and that I was going to live like this for a long time whether I liked it or not. So I got over my whining."

"That is an amazing attitude to have," Shuichi responded. "Some would have continued in futility, knowing it to be easier."

Shana shrugged a second time. It was quiet again, save the hushed conversation of other people in the shop and the whirr of the espresso machine. Shuichi waited a few moments before beginning another round of questions. He had many and Shana was more than willing to answer. It was much easier than she thought it would be to talk to him. The words flowed easily and she knew he was listening. Maybe that was why Shana could speak so freely: she knew that he wanted to listen to what she had to say, that her ideas and stories were important in some way. Shana didn't get that often, and it was a breath of fresh air.

The tables turned sometime later, and she began to ask the questions. Shana learned more about his family, about how he and Suuichi were only step-brothers and about how his mom almost died of a rare illness. He told her about his hobbies, what he liked and disliked, his favorite books and why he liked them. Shana began to get a glimpse of who he was, but several times it felt as if she was only getting to know about him instead of getting to know him in a personal sense. Shana had a feeling that there was a lot more to Shuichi than he let on.

Shana checked her watch in curiosity as she awakened to the sense that time had passed without her knowledge. A gasp of surprise escaped her lips.

"Oh wow, is it really 12:30?" she asked her companion. "I need to go to bed."

"Hm. The café will be closing in half an hour. At this time of night it would be unwise for you to walk home alone on campus. I will take you," Shuichi said. He helped Shana to her feet and led her out of the shop.

She laughed at his more forward attitude. "Ah, so that was your plan. Very sly of you Shuichi. It is too late for me to go home alone, I'll admit. It's hard to argue with reason. Are you happy now that I have no other choice than to let you walk me home?"

"Of course. It is in human nature to be happy when one gets his way," he said.

Shana gave him the building's name and her room number before letting him lead her where he would. She trusted him to keep her on the right track. It was much easier now that she knew more about him. Even before it wasn't hard to trust him; that certain calm attitude of his infected her as well.

All of a sudden Shana stopped walking as an idea came to mind. Shuichi stopped also.

"Is something the matter?" he asked.

"I just realized . . . ." she began. "Could this be considered a date?"

He laughed and continued walking, pulling her with him. "Only if you want. Be aware that if this is a date I will ask you to spend more time with me on a later day. If you wish to avoid that requisite you are free to call this a friendly chat over coffee."

Shana felt a gust of warm air as Shuichi opened the door for her. She knew where she was and how to get around in the building but let Shuichi take her arm to lead her anyway, enjoying the warmth of his body and the feeling of how close he was.

"Actually," Shana said. "I would like to call this something of a date if . . . well."

Shuichi pulled his arm out of hers and turned to face her as the couple stopped in front of Shana's door.

"If not for what?" he asked.

"If I didn't still have some vague hunch that you're an old man, even though I know you're Suuichi's brother. It's completely ridiculous, I know . . . ." she trailed off lamely. Shana didn't really think that about him. Her 'fear' was a cover for what she really wanted. And if she was going to continue spending time with him this would be an important part in determining whether she wanted to or not.

"How can I assuage your fears?" Shuichi smiled, unconcerned and amused.

Shana held up her hands. "Face mapping!"

Shuichi chuckled after a moment. He gently grasped her wrists and brought her hands to his face. Somehow he was taller than she originally thought. Shana almost had to stand on tip-toe to reach.

It was embarrassing for Shana, putting her hands all over someone else's face. But she had learned enough about Shuichi and his character to know that he wouldn't mind. Not to mention she was too curious to pass up the opportunity.

The first thing she noticed was his smooth skin. If Shana had any real doubts about his age, they were eased with that sensation. She ran one hand over his cheek and firm jaw while the other traveled higher to give her a picture of his forehead and eyes. Her thumb brushed over one closed eyelid.

"What color are your eyes?" she nearly whispered, fully aware of his closeness. Shana wanted a full picture and colors would help. So far he had proven to be as handsome as he sounded.

"Green."

Her hands traveled away from his face and she frowned deeply as her fingers met with his hair. It was much longer than she thought. Shana leaned closer, following the disheveled locks down to his shoulder blades.

"You have long hair," she stated, not sure if she liked that idea or not. It did seem to suit him in an odd way. "What color?"

"Red."

Shana blanched, the closeness of his voice hinting at how near Shuichi's face was to hers. A blush of heat seared her cheeks and she began to pull back.

Shuichi immediately closed the gap and she soon felt his warm lips against her own. Shana pressed into his hold, reveling in the onslaught of sensations. His lips and hands held her firmly in his grasp and she felt the shape of his body as he brushed against her. The beat of his heart quickened beneath Shana's sensitive fingertips and she felt hers do the same.

He pulled away but maintained a close proximity. After a short lapse of silence he spoke. "Would you be amenable to the idea of joining me for dinner tomorrow evening?"

"Of course. It would be foolish of me to say no," Shana smiled. Feeling that her night with Shuichi was close to an end, she pulled out of his grip and unlocked her door, cracking it open slightly.

"Then sleep well. I will return tomorrow night," he said.

Shana nodded in return before giving in to the yawn that arose. She heard Shuichi chuckle.

"It's past my bedtime," Shana defended.

He hummed an agreement before kissing her again, this time quicker and with more force that nearly left her breathless.

"Good night," he said.

"Good night," she breathed long after her cue as she heard his footsteps retreating down the hall.

Shana turned back to her room and closed the door after she entered, leaning wearily against it. She had never imagined that her need for help would bring such an amazing man. Shana smiled lightly. Maybe asking for help wasn't so bad after all.

ooo

Hope you enjoyed! And don't forget to leave a review, they might inspire a sequel. *Hint hint, wink wink*

Btw, Mozart's Serenade in G major is called "Eine kleine nachtmusik" or "A Little Night Music" just so ya know.

And now for a shameless plug: If you liked this story please check out my other fanfic Radical Dreamers. It is a Yusuke sister O/C insert that follows the adventures of the spirit detectives. Thanks.


	2. Part Two: Coda, Evil Angel

Coda – Evil Angel

A/N: "Coda" is the term used to indicate the final section of the first movement of a symphony. And remember people, you asked for it. ^_~

Disclaimer: I do not own Yuyu Hakusho or Breaking Benjamin's "Evil Angel." I only misuse them.

The weather waned cool as the beginnings of spring awoke in the warmth of the afternoon sun. Shana smiled brightly and pulled open the windows of her living room, letting the crisp air invade the cozy warmth of her home. Excitement beat at Shana's stomach, eliciting flutters of uneasy tension.

Shuichi was taking her out to meet some of his friends. She had spent some time with his family, especially his step-brother, but had yet to meet his closest friends. It was a little nerve wracking. Shana knew he had been friends with them for several years and respected their opinions. If they decided she was a bad idea for him she knew he would consider that.

A few months had passed since Shana's first meeting with Shuichi and she could easily say that the past winter was the warmest and longest period of her life. It became increasingly difficult to keep her feet on the ground and focus on school work, or anything besides Shuichi for that matter. Many times Shana wondered if he was really an angel in disguise. He was always a gentleman, always sweet and thoughtful, always wise beyond his years and willing to share that wisdom with her.

A frown dragged her lips down. Those same wonderful qualities caused some difficulties in their relationship. Sometimes, if Shana was feeling particularly independent, she would avoid seeing him just to get a chance to do things on her own. When Shuichi was near he always wanted to help and try to take some of her burdens on himself. They had already had several arguments about it, and he had pulled back somewhat in that respect. But Shana knew it was a good thing, disagreements meant they were both actually invested in the relationship and were trying to communicate their ideas about it.

Shana had learned a lot about Shuichi in those short months as well. She began to understand his temperament and picked up on his moods and ideals. She could tell what mood he was in by the changes in his voice, however slight those changes were; he was very good at keeping his emotions to himself.

That was another odd thing about her companion. He kept a lot of things to himself. Shana already knew she wouldn't be able to learn everything about him and she was okay with the knowledge that there were some things he wasn't going to share. There were things she wasn't willing to share with him either. But Shana got the distinct feeling on several occasions that his secrets were ongoing, that she shouldn't fully trust him. She couldn't explain her suspicions; there was nothing to back them with. There were hints in their conversations, especially when he told her about his childhood and teenage years. There was an underlying adventure, she was certain. His life couldn't possibly be as bland and normal as he made it out to be. If it was, he would be a rather bland and normal person. Shana knew for a fact that Shuichi was anything but normal.

_Hold it together_

_Birds of a feather_

_Nothing but lies and crooked wings_

Shana's thoughts were interrupted as a pair of arm pulled her into a warm body. She jumped in surprise before relaxing into Shuichi's embrace. He always managed to do that. Despite her sensitive hearing he was always able to sneak up on her. Shana almost never heard his footsteps, and even then they were light and soft. His silence was just another unexplained oddity.

His lips fell against her neck. "Ready to go?" He mumbled, rubbing his nose under her ear. A delighted shiver jolted up Shana's spine and she turned around, pressing her face into his chest and wrapping him in her arms.

"Sure," she said, taking in his familiar scent. Shana pulled back, tilting her head up. "How do I look?"

"As beautiful as always," Shuichi responded and brushed his lips along her exposed jaw. She was used to his playful affections, even though the knowledge did nothing to lessen the exhilaration brought on by his touch. More than anything Shana was happy to know that he wasn't afraid of touching her. It was actually the opposite: he always found a reason to make contact whether by just holding hands or kissing her senseless. She didn't need to worry about where his affections lay.

"In fact," he continued, pulling her against him until she could feel every twitch of his muscles. "I think we shouldn't go."

Shana frowned. "What? Why not?"

"I don't particularly feel inclined to sharing today." His lips were on her skin again. "Perhaps we can go another day, when you look less appealing."

"By your biased opinion, that'll never happen," she laughed. "Besides, I want to know what kind of people you become friends with."

"If you insist," Shuichi relented. Weary of his teasing Shana leaned up to kiss him, trying to determine the position of his face by the sound of his voice. She missed horribly and pressed her lips against his cheek above his jaw instead.

Her brow furrowed in frustration before relaxing seconds later as Shuichi's lips moved over her own. Shana could feel the smile on his lips as testament to his amusement. But she didn't care; she had what she wanted.

Her stomach jolted in excitement as he drew her lower lip between his teeth. Her fingers dove into his hair, pressing against his scalp to pull him closer.

Shuichi pulled away before the kiss could deepen further. Shana took a few deep breaths for stability as he spoke. "I was wondering: how am I expected to take you anywhere when you keep trying to distract me into staying? This is a very cruel punishment if I have done anything to deserve it."

She grinned and removed herself from his embrace, picking up her purse on her way to the door. "Hold on, wait for it." She paused thoughtfully. " . . . Nope, still no sympathy. Your suffering isn't very convincing, Shuichi. You might want to work on that."

Shuichi joined her at the door, placing his hand in hers. "I will certainly put it on my list of improvements."

"Oh, so there's a list? It must be very short," Shana teased. His light attitude had infected her, draining her of her many previous worries. It seemed that she picked up more of his attitudes and mannerisms as she spent more time with him, and vice versa.

Shana opened the door.

_I have the answer_

_Spreading the cancer_

_You are the faith inside me_

Two bus rides and a long walk later, Shana and Shuichi stood at the bottom of a tall set of stairs. He had warned her about them and mentioned that the woman's house his friends were meeting at was at the top.

"Well, let's get this over with," she said, the tip of her walking stick brushing against the bottom step.

"One other thing," Shuichi said as they began their ascent. "In junior high my friends came up with a nickname for me. How it happened is a long story, but they haven't gotten over calling me Kurama. I didn't want it to cause unnecessary confusion for you."

"Okay. Well, we've got plenty of time if you want to share the story," Shana offered, willing to use anything to take her mind off of the stairs. Not to mention she was getting an odd feeling about that nickname, the same feeling she had when she was trying to decide if Shuichi was hiding something, trying to keep something secret.

"Perhaps another day. It is a rather boring story besides," Shuichi said.

Shana frowned. There was a miniscule lilt in his voice. She almost hadn't caught it. Did that mean something? Was he nervous about sharing his story? Or maybe he was embarrassed by it. Either way, Shana wanted the truth.

She didn't want to be suspicious of him, but it was hard to ignore the truth when it was staring her in the face. Shuichi was hiding something from her and she wasn't sure if she should be concerned about it. It was just a nickname, after all.

But why did it feel so important?

"Is something the matter?" Shuichi's soft voice permeated her worried reverie.

Here was the perfect opportunity to ask him, to see just what he was hiding and why. It didn't feel _right_, all those skirted questions and gaps in his stories. Shana could tell something was wrong.

She took a deep breath. "Well . . . it's just . . . ."

Shana paused. Maybe she was just being silly and superstitious, trying to find a problem when there wasn't one. She caved. "I don't think any of your stories are boring. I like to know about your friends and history so I can know you better. You keep wanting me to think you're really boring or something, but you're not. If you were I wouldn't even be interested in you romantically."

Her only answer was silence.

" . . . just wanted you to know," she finished softly.

Shuichi took Shana's hand in his, pulling her to a stop.

"Will you trust me?" he finally asked.

The question caught her off guard. Her lips pulled farther down. "Yes. But-"

"Just understand," he interrupted. "I have not always been a good person. I have not always loved my mother, or anyone else for that matter. I was once selfish . . . so selfish. I . . . ."

She waited as he paused, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. He sighed.

"That is not something I am able to share with you yet. I ask in the mean time that you would trust me and have faith."

Shuichi wrapped her in his arms and Shana melted, feeling completely secure and at home.

"I love you," he mumbled into her hair. "And I don't want to hide anything from you."

Shana smiled. She didn't have the answers, but that was certainly something. She still had doubts but pushed them to the back of her thoughts, working to trust Shuichi as much as she could.

"I love you too. And I appreciate your honesty. I won't ask you about it anymore. If you don't want to share, that's fine," she said, leaning up to place a light kiss on his jaw.

"Thank you." The smile returned to his voice. Shuichi pulled away from her and continued to lead her up the steps until they reached level ground.

_No_

_Don't_

_Leave me to die here_

_Help me survive here_

_Alone_

_Don't remember_

_Remember_

Shuichi led her through the shoji door into the house. They were welcomed by a conglomeration of voices, Shana guessed around ten people. Those same voices greeted her companion upon entry. The nickname "Kurama" did startle her at first, but she quickly reminded herself of Shuichi's warning. Shana busied with collapsing her walking stick and putting it in its pouch as Shuichi introduced her to his friends.

Shana jumped as someone started laughing. The voice sounded male.

"Wow!" The young man exulted. "I can't believe Kurama's finally getting laid. I was starting to think he was gay or som-"

A resounding slap interrupted his speech. Shana was thankful someone had stopped him since her face was now bright red in embarrassment. She hadn't even thought of . . . _that_.

"Geez, Keiko!" He exclaimed from somewhere on the ground.

"Come on Yusuke, they don't want to hear that," Keiko said exasperated. It sounded like this was a normal occurrence. Shana relaxed slightly.

"I was giving her a compliment," she heard Yusuke mumble under his breath.

Shuichi laughed beside her, seemingly unaffected by his friend's comment. He took Shana's hand in his again and led her to the table everyone sat at.

"Still enjoying married life, Keiko?" he asked, amused.

"It depends on the day," she said pointedly. Shana had a feeling she was glaring at her husband.

"Che! It depends on whether you're pms-ing or not," Yusuke responded.

"Anyway," A new voice interrupted. Botan, if she remembered correctly, addressed her. "It's so nice to finally meet you. Kurama told us how amazing you are and now we get to see it in action."

"Oh no. That's not good." Shana pulled on her boyfriend's sleeve. "Now they're going to expect something from me."

Shuichi laughed at that.

It was easier than Shana thought it would be to converse with Shuichi's friends. She was expecting to be pinned onto the outside of the party, invited only for Shuichi's sake. But despite how different they were from her companion she found he fit in with them, and she melded in beside him.

They ate dinner made by Yukina, Kuwabara's not-quite girlfriend. It was funny to hear them interact. She seemed completely oblivious to his blatant advances. Shana ended up talking with Botan and Keiko most of the time when she did talk. The rest of the time she listened to the gang share stories and talk about their day to day experiences.

At some point in the evening everyone moved into the living area where Shana and Shuichi shared a loveseat. As the night wore on and the group continued to catch up she slipped farther down the seat, moving toward a more horizontal position. She finally dozed off, leaning snugly into Shuichi's side as his fingers softly rubbed a rhythmic pattern against her arm. She passed in and out of consciousness, catching only snippets of the conversations.

And then all was silent for what felt an eternity to her. In actuality the stillness was a lull in conversation. Shana was too comfortable to move, to sit up and let everyone know she was awake. Her ears perked up anyway as she woke more fully. They were beginning to talk about her.

"So," Botan began excitedly. "We haven't heard any of the juicy details about you two. How did you meet? When are you getting married? Are you sharing a place? Has she met your mom? What does Shiori think? When are –"

She stopped mid-sentence and Shizuru's voice soon took its place. "You might want to give him a chance to answer."

"Oh. Of course!" Botan laughed nervously.

"You have high expectations, Botan," Shuichi smiled. "We've only known each other for three months. Marriage isn't even a consideration at this point."

"Really? Three months?" Keiko interjected. "With the way you two act around each other I would have thought you knew her a lot longer than that."

"How so?" Shuichi asked, genuinely interested.

"I'm not sure how to describe it," Keiko mused. "But it's something couples and old friends end up doing since they know each other so well. It's a kind of silent communication; a mutual understanding. You're able to share ideas without really talking. I hope that's a good explanation. Anyway, I noticed you two doing that."

"Ah. That may be compensation for a lack of communication in other areas. I have been learning to verbalize more of my thoughts than before." Shuichi said. Keiko hummed in agreement before conversation died off again. It seemed Shuichi wasn't interested in answering all of Botan's questions.

"So hey, Kurama, have you told her about . . . you know," Kuwabara asked less than covertly. Shana's ears perked up, knowing Kuwabara was asking about the same thing she wanted to know about her companion.

"No." Shuichi's voice lowered as he took up a more serious attitude. "I was hoping not to, but she is too perceptive. She already suspects something. I have decided to wait as long as possible, perhaps to engagement if we get that far. However, I will not dwell on that issue until it becomes pertinent."

"Sorry man. That's gotta be rough," Yusuke said after another short silence.

"Thank you, Yusuke," Shuichi answered. His hand moved from Shana's arm to sift through her hair. She almost automatically moved to compensate him, sitting her head in his lap before continuing to doze. The conversation shifted again and her thoughts drifted into dreams.

_Put me to sleep evil angel_

_Open your wings evil angel_

Shana could feel that it was much later at night when she awoke again. She was still on the loveseat, curled to fit with her back pressed to the cushion. Her torso rose and fell at every breath Shuichi took as he lay beneath her.

Shana heard the child's voice again, the sound that had awoken her. A little boy was crying out in the open space beyond the walls of the house. She couldn't hear what he was saying. In fact, Shana couldn't hear anything clearly. The room was completely silent.

She stood up slowly, careful not to wake Shuichi, and moved away from the couch. She found her walking stick and left the house, following the strange child's voice. Silence still reigned. She heard only his small voice, calling her toward him.

"Hello?" Shana called. "Where are you? Do you need help?"

"Mommy," the boy's voice responded. "Mommy?"

She followed the sound of his voice, even as the terrain became more rough. Shana slowed considerably to keep from injuring herself on the roots and branches that now stood in her path. A part of her wanted to turn back and get help, but Shana knew that the boy needed someone right away. Besides, she wasn't completely useless on her own. She could handle the situation by herself.

"Mommy," the boy called again.

"Wait. I can help you, but you need to stop moving," she said, struggling through a particularly dense bit of foliage. The boy's voice would get closer but Shana would have to slow down and he would move farther away again.

Shana wasn't sure how long she had been walking. It seemed almost futile to continue. But then the boy's voice would get closer, always asking for his mommy, and she would find the strength to push through the hauntingly silent forestry.

She came upon a clearing after a while. The branches stopped beating at her face and arms and she wasn't continually tripping over roots and stones. Shana had come very far, and realized with a sinking feeling in her gut that she didn't know her way back. Her trail had been mixed up and confused as she went, not paying enough attention to where she was headed.

"Mommy?"

Shana jumped. The little boy's voice was so close she was certain she could reach out and touch him. Her heart beat sporadically as she became suddenly nervous. The quiet pressed in.

"Are you lost?" she finally asked the boy around the shaking of her voice. Shana reached out to him.

Her hand pulled back quickly, as if burned, as the little boy began to giggle. Shana stood nervously, sweaty fingers tightening around her walking stick. The boy's giggles escalated, morphing into the harsh laughter of a much older man.

She backed away slowly.

"No," the gravelly voice said. "But you are."

Shana's breath hitched in her throat. Fear pumped adrenaline through her veins and her first thought was to run in any direction away from that man's voice. She turned around and began to leave, slamming into a brick wall that wasn't there before.

The brick wall, a very tall heavily built man, wrapped a beefy hand around her throat, lifting her from the ground.

Shana gurgled and coughed before attempting to dig her hands in between his fingers and her throat. The gravelly voice behind her spoke.

"You humans are so gullible! Always 'concerned' for others. Ha! The little boy illusion works every time."

"And now we wait," the man holding her said.

So she was bait. That meant they weren't really interested in her. If that was the case, who were they really after?

_I'm a believer_

_Nothing could be worse_

_All these imaginary friends_

The men bound Shana and left her sitting on the dewy grass between them. She didn't dare to speak and they didn't have much to say either, even to each other.

They waited. Silence passed the hours. Finally shouting voices came into Shana's range of hearing, indistinguishable at first then calling her name at intervals. The guys were out looking for her.

Shana remained obstinately silent, knowing that if she called back they would find her and the two men waiting for them. That was the point of her kidnapping, after all. And she wasn't going to make it easy for them.

Suddenly the gravelly voiced one grabbed her upper arm, pulling her clear off the ground. He was taller than Shana had thought.

"Time to scream, girlie," he said.

She tried to wriggle away, though it didn't do much good. Cold metal pierced her side and she cried out. He twisted the knife and she screamed again, harder and louder. Shana twitched away, but it only intensified the pain. Hot tears fell from her sightless eyes.

That caught their attention. Shana soon heard the rustle of parting branches and familiar voices.

"What the hell did you do?" Yusuke shouted accusingly at her captors, fury lacing every word.

"Caught your attention, didn't it Detective? Humans really are such fragile creatures." And, as if to reiterate his point, his hand tightened around Shana's arm until the bones creaked under the pressure and finally broke.

Her pain filled voice rang over the clearing again. He finally let go and Shana crumpled to the ground. She cried, relieved, into the wet grass and concentrated on evening her breaths to take away from the throbbing pains, trying not to fall into hysteria. She couldn't even hold her wounds since her hands were still bound.

Her rescuers had come, but Shana wasn't sure if she wanted that. Her captors seemed powerful and were completely ruthless. She would have rather sat with them for eternity than have her friends come; she didn't want them to get hurt.

"Bastard," Yusuke snarled.

"It's bad enough hitting a girl," Kuwabara agreed. "But that . . . ."

"Are you angry yet, Urameshi?" her other captor asked. "We've heard of your ability to strengthen when a friend is in need and we want to fight you at your best. There's still a hefty reward for your head on the Demon Plane. We want to earn every cent."

"Heh, well you asked for it." Shana heard the slap of skin on skin and guessed Yusuke had punched his fist into the opposite hand in preparation of a fight.

"Yusuke." The cold, quiet voice sent a chill up her spine. Shana had heard his voice speak many times but never like that, brimming with a tightly controlled fury nearly itching to break. At that moment, in that one word, Shuichi's voice scared her more than her captors.

"I will not bar you from fighting," he continued. "But I ask that you leave the one on the left for me."

"Right," Yusuke agreed as if Shuichi's attitude was the most natural thing in the world.

The fight began; a melee three to two. Shana heard it all in the back of her mind: shouts, blows, weapons against weapons. Her own whirling thoughts took precedence, even drowning out some of the pain as her mind went round in circles.

_Hiding betrayal_

_Driving the nail_

_Hoping to find a savior_

This was the end of the lie; her angel was no more. Shana had heard the real Shuichi, the man who could fight, the cool calculator she was given glimpses of during games and intense conversation, the ruthless killer, Shana was sure of it. The dots began to connect; it was no wonder he wouldn't want to share that part of himself with her, he was probably afraid of scaring her off.

Her thoughts circled again. That wasn't entirely correct. This wasn't the real Shuichi, or Kurama as the friends who seemed to know him said. Maybe that was his real name? Or a code name, a cover for something? In any case, Shana knew the real Shuichi. This was just a side she hadn't seen yet; the reason for the lies that separated her from fully understanding him.

She remembered his words from earlier that day. He had wanted to tell her the truth, so why not? He knew she loved him and trusted him, so why couldn't he share this? Unless he wasn't allowed to; unless it was a part of his job not to let outsiders know. Or he wanted to keep her away for her own safety. Shana liked that idea, it seemed more like her Shuichi.

She snorted in laughter. It was completely ridiculous. She was lying pitifully broken with her face in the dirt, an odd battle full of noises that didn't make sense beside her and she was trying to decipher her boyfriend's personality.

But it had clicked, it all made sense now. It had always been for her. He wasn't hiding because he didn't trust her or didn't want her to know, he did it to protect her and keep her as far from this dark life of his as possible. And even this cold, ruthless fighter was loving her. He wasn't angry at her, but because of her, because she was hurt. That was what Shana hoped, at least.

She didn't understand the details, didn't know what all this was really about, but Shana could trace Shuichi's convoluted thinking and understand the 'why.' He had been giving to her since the day she met him; it was only natural that trend would continue.

The tears of pain trickling down her cheeks mixed with new tears, tears of understanding. And her heart ached more strongly than the throbbing pulse of her broken arm and open side. All her strength was gone, she could only wait for the end.

Shana was almost glad for her blindness when she heard the screams, the shouts of intense agony. She recognized it, the gravelly voiced man, and shuddered at the thought of what was happening to him. There was another sound too, some sort of beast unlike anything she had heard before.

'_Leave the one on the left for me.'_ Was Shuichi really capable of such a thing, to draw out that man's death like that? Her whole body seized up at the thought. This new Shuichi maybe, this part of him she knew nothing about.

It was over. The fight ended with her rescuers coming out victorious. She hadn't been paying enough attention to figure out if they had a hard time of it or not. Shana was bordering on sleep, but the pain kept her awake.

And then he called her name; her angel, her demon. Shana couldn't respond, too exhausted to move. She was unbound and his hands brushed against her face, then arm, examining her injuries, then the knife still pressed into her muscles.

With a quick jerk he removed it and began to bind the open wound. Shana managed only a whimper as testament to her awareness.

"Let's get her back to Yukina," Kuwabara said.

He was her gentle Shuichi again, carrying her so tenderly she felt like she was floating. He was so familiar in that instance, and all the more distant because of it. Her thoughts wandered again and she wondered if one day he would turn that cold fury on her. Shana couldn't understand it; he was sincere and loving all that time, but it seemed he had also been that other person just beneath the surface. His friends knew it, accepted it, were probably in on his secret life.

Shana knew Shuichi loved her, wanted her kept safe, but she couldn't be sure that she loved him. She didn't know whether she could trust him or not. Shana loved the half of him that she knew and she was determined to love all of him. But could she? Was the part she didn't know more dominant? Had she been in love with a carefully constructed image, nothing like the original?

She finally fell asleep with few answers and many more questions then at the outset, still nestled in the arms of her enigma.

_No_

_Don't_

_Leave me to die here_

_Help me survive here_

_Alone_

_Don't surrender_

_Surrender_

Cool hands brushed against Shana's cheek. She suddenly felt very awake, as if her body had been dipped in a cold mountain stream or a fresh breeze had wafted through the warm room. It was very refreshing and she relaxed almost immediately.

"How are you feeling?" A sweet, gentle voice asked as she was dropped back into warmth; Yukina.

"I'm alright," Shana responded, sitting up. She couldn't even feel her injuries; they must have had strong medicine.

"I made you some tea," Yukina took her hand and placed a warm cup in her grasp. "You've recovered very quickly."

"Hmm." Shana sipped at the warm liquid. "Where's Shuichi?"

She was silent for a moment, thinking. "He's not here. He went on a walk."

Shana nodded, no doubt he was thinking about what to do next. "Thank you, Yukina. By the way, what time is it?"

"About four o'clock in the morning."

Yukina stayed for a few more minutes then left Shana alone, alone with her thoughts. It was hard not to make guesses and create scenarios. She wanted to wait for Shuichi to tell her the truth himself, but her brain wouldn't stop whirring with its own creative ideas.

The door slid open quietly thirty minutes later. She recognized his soft footsteps, not nearly as mysterious and enchanting as last time she thought on them. Now they were deadly.

He sat beside her, close but farther away than usual. The empty tea cup stood between them. They sat in heavy silence. She could feel the tension and knew he was trying to figure out where to start.

"I want to say that I'm not afraid," Shana began softly. "But I don't know yet."

He was still silent.

"May I explain?" He finally asked. She nodded. He sighed and shifted slightly.

"I am not a human, at least not fully," Shuichi said.

Shana nodded again and her body tensed without her permission. She had expected something along those lines. Her captors had said it, using the word 'human' as if it were something foreign.

"I was born an enchanted fox. I am what people would call a demon." He paused for her reaction. When she gave none he continued. "I am several hundred years old and twenty three years ago was made a human quite by accident . . . ."

He told her everything; from the details of his birth as a human to the love he learned for Shiori to his meeting with Yusuke and their adventures together, and finally to his decision, his choice, to remain as a human.

Birds were beginning to chatter and sing beyond the walls when he finally finished. Shana sat silently, absorbing everything.

"I am truly sorry. I had hoped it had been long enough since my activities in the demon world. I thought I could keep you safe. But I realize now that isn't possible. I chose this life thinking I could meld into it and leave my old self behind. I cannot. I am still different, still inhuman."

She swallowed hard around the lump forming in her throat. A tear coursed down her cheek, then another, and a third as Shuichi, no, Kurama continued.

"But I can find enjoyment in watching them: my family, my coworkers, you. I like watching you be human. You are all so alike, in appearance, in your normalcy, but so extraordinarily different. It is an adventure just to watch."

Shana sniffled and he stopped. She shifted and wrapped her arms around him, crying into his neck. He embraced her loosely, completely guarded after all his explanations. And she could feel his age in that moment, his deep loneliness. Shana cried all the harder for it.

She calmed after a while and pulled away, still hiccupping. Shana stayed quiet for a little while longer before clearing her throat and finding her voice.

"I love you. I love you more now even than before, which I thought was impossible. You are so amazing to have changed so much and given so much of yourself. That's what I loved in you in the first place, your giving spirit. I want to hear more of your stories and learn about your abilities and find out where you've been. I want to know you more."

She smiled. "I'm not afraid. In fact, I'm excited and I don't care that you're a demon. I want to be a part of your adventure, Kurama."

His hand touched her cheek. "Always so courageous. That's what drew me to you."

Shana smiled again, feeling that they had made a big step in their relationship. She didn't doubt him anymore, and she understood him so much better. Things would get better after this, she was sure of it.

"I love you too," Kurama said. "That is why I cannot allow this to continue."

_Put me to sleep evil angel_

_Open your wings evil angel_

_Fly over me evil angel_

_Why can't I breathe?_

_Evil angel_

Shana stopped breathing.

"What?" she asked. It didn't make sense, they had just made so much progress.

"I apologize. It was wrong of me to pursue you in the first place. I've endangered your life once already. I would never forgive myself if it happened again. I would rather see you safe, at a distance."

Her throat closed again.

Kurama continued. "You're still young. You have a long life ahead of you. There will be others out there for you."

"What about you?" she croaked around the impending tears.

"Back to the same old life, I suppose. Koenma still has work for me sometimes, if I want it. I may even take a trip back to demon world."

"Alone?" The tears came again. She quickly wiped them away.

". . . Yes."

Shana smiled grimly. He was her evil little angel, so wonderful and giving, so selfless and yet the personification of all that was labeled as wicked by the world.

"You'll be fine," Kurama said, pulling Shana from her thoughts. A heavy tiredness fell on her suddenly. She had to fight hard to keep from falling under.

"Not without you," she managed to mumble before yawning widely.

"Everything will be alright," he soothed. "Because this is just a bad dream."

"Dream?" Shana repeated wearily. Things did feel foggy and she wanted to believe the situation wasn't real. Maybe this was a creation of her imagination.

"Yes, a dream. One you'll forget when you wake."

Her head dipped in a nod and refused to rise, instead falling against something firm and warm. A hand sifted through her hair. Kurama, or was it Shuichi? Shana had a hard time remembering. She tried to call for him, but a groan was the most that would pass through her lips.

"Our relationship ended recently," he added. "The circumstances are unimportant; you'll forget those as well."

Shana wanted to speak to him, but wasn't sure what to say. She was too tired to think, even though she could tell something important was happening, something unpleasant. She finally gave up and fell into warm slumber. The problem, whatever it was, could be dealt with in the morning.

_Put me to sleep evil angel_

_Open your wings evil angel_

_Fly over me evil angel_

Shana awoke in a dull fog. She didn't know why but a heavy weight of despair fell on her shoulders. The tears came quickly and she spent a long time curled on her bed, expending every shuddering breath and drop of moisture her body could produce.

_Why can't I breathe?_

She couldn't get up. There was nothing to rise for anymore.

_Evil angel_


	3. Part Three: Music I Heard

A/N: This is the last One-shot in this series. It's a bit more lighthearted than the last but seeing that I can't write humor very well is still very dramatic. I've quite enjoyed writing this series and have already started on a set with Hiei, though it's proving to be much more difficult. It may take a while to post since I should really work on my longer pieces. Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review!

Music I Heard

A fanfic by Tsu_chanB

_Music I heard with you was more than music,  
And bread I broke with you was more than bread;  
Now that I am without you, all is desolate;  
All that was once so beautiful is dead._

Your hands once touched this table and this silver,  
And I have seen your fingers hold this glass.  
These things do not remember you, beloved, --  
And yet your touch upon them will not pass.

For it was in my heart you moved among them,  
And blessed them with your hands and with your eyes;  
And in my heart they will remember always, --  
They knew you once, O beautiful and wise.

_-Conrad Aiken (1889-1973)_

He dreamt of the moon. He watched its half-hidden silver light stretch over the grass and up the porch to sit at his feet inside the small room. He stared for an eternity.

Then the moon began to watch him. He trembled under its gaze and his mouth opened in speech, divulging every secret, every betrayal, every deep longing. After a time he slowly awoke to the sensation of tears wetting his cheeks and falling onto the cool hardwood floor.

_Plip . . . Plip . . ._

It was the only real sound, he realized. Despite his moving lips and constant confessions no noise escaped him. All was silent under the watchful moon save the constant fall of his tears.

A soft hand grasped his arm tightly. He wanted to look, to see who was there, but he couldn't tear away from the radiant moonlight.

The other hand touched his jaw. His mouth clenched shut and the hand turned his head.

_Her._

Her presence didn't surprise him. Somehow he expected it. The spell broken, he looked to the floor between them. That smile was still on her lips. How could she smile after hearing of all his wrongdoings? Surely she had been listening to his confessions.

"I'm not afraid," she answered his unspoken question without hesitation.

His roar of anger and frustration broke the stillness. The smile never left her lips. His hands reached for her throat as he let out another desperate shout.

Kurama shuddered as he awoke, his eyes snapping open to the red glare of his alarm clock in the darkness. He turned his face into his pillow after reading the numbers; 4:43. With a sigh he pushed himself upright, the blanket gathering at his waist. Kurama rubbed his eyes wearily.

"Again," he whispered, letting his hands fall back to the bed. He stared out the window at the small sliver of the moon.

That dream continued to haunt him. Kurama thought the reoccurring dreams had stopped months ago, but that was the second time in a week he had that same nightmare. He thought it was in the past, that he had gotten over _her_. Apparently six months wasn't long enough.

His forehead dropped against his risen knees, arms limp at his sides. It was too late to return to sleep, but too early to be awake. Sleepiness came upon him again and his eyes nearly sealed themselves shut.

But he quickly remembered the dream and his thoughts wandered without his permission; he was too tired to control them. The old feelings on the subject came back to him: longing, melancholy, guilt. He hadn't felt like that in months and unwittingly began to wallow in it. It was strangely comforting, a reminder of what a monster he really was; he could only destroy lives.

"_I want to be a part of your adventure, Kurama."_

He moved away from the bed and flipped on the light. Reality settled in with his decision to begin the day. Kurama shook his head and traveled to the bathroom. He couldn't allow himself to feel that way, to let himself be useless like that. There was too much to do.

Kurama showered and dressed, getting ready for another day at the office. It was just routine. He read a book to pass the time; he didn't want to get there too early.

He finally left his apartment at seven and still arrived before anyone else. Hatanaka soon joined him and the rest of the staff filtered in as the clock ticked closer to eight. There was plenty of work to do and Kurama dove in, immersing himself in the mundane if only to clear his mind. His strategy was effective, and he didn't even notice as the lunch hour came and passed.

His stomach began to growl at him in protest late in the afternoon. Kurama ignored it. The day was too far gone to bother with food anyway. He was about to resume working when a voice stopped him.

"Still hard at work, I see," Hatanaka said as he approached the desk. Kurama smiled at his step-father and responded accordingly. The two men chatted for a little bit, but Kurama could feel that Hatanaka had come for a purpose.

"Well, you may have guessed I'm not here just for fun," Hatanaka said. Kurama nodded and he continued. "You have the rest of the afternoon off, Shuichi. And the rest of the week, too."

"I don't understand," Kurama said, confused. "I have not asked for any time off and there is a lot I still need to finish here."

Hatanaka smiled. "That's the thing. You are working too much, Shuichi. Your mother and I are getting worried about you. You're here before I am in the morning and you leave after I do at night. While I appreciate your dedication, it's not healthy. You need a life outside of work. And if you won't take the vacation days I'll put you on probation."

Kurama blinked in surprise. He was not expecting that. Knowing that he had no choice, Kurama nodded and stood, gathering the few things he would take home. Hatanaka drew him into conversation again. Kurama complied and Hatanaka followed him to the front door, probably to make sure he actually left.

"You should go hang out with some of your high school friends," Hatanaka suggested. "I know you haven't seen them in a while. Now, go on and relax. I'll see you next Monday."

Kurama smiled and nodded. The two men said their good-byes before parting. The fox sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He had no idea what to do.

It was true he hadn't seen anyone from the usual gang since the incident six months before. Most of them had been pretty upset with his decision. He was still hesitant to visit any of them. His brother was out of town on a summer exchange program and Shiori had left to visit her family in the next city. Kurama scratched family off the list of possible people to visit. He didn't have many options.

Kurama sighed again in his walk home. He was still tired from the lack of sleep the night before and thought of napping once he reached home. He could figure things out from there.

Looking up he spotted the ice cream parlor he passed every day looming ahead. On a whim he thought to indulge in one of the cold sweets. Kurama stopped at the crosswalk on the opposite side of the street from the shop and his attention was drawn to a couple sitting outside at one of the tables, talking and laughing.

His heart pulsed quickly for a moment then flopped over and died. He had a hard time breathing and then containing his anger when the shock passed. He didn't even see the cross light turn white and then red again as he stood waiting. A film of white fury covered his vision and muddled his thoughts. Of all the people he could have seen Shana with it had to be someone he thought he could trust.

Kurama took several deep breaths, composed himself, and approached when the cross light changed to white again. The man sitting with her noticed him immediately, returning Kurama's harsh glare. Shana continued talking to her companion and licked at her ice cream without a care.

Kurama wanted to say so many things but all the words crowded together on the tip of his tongue so nothing escaped. Not to mention he was completely distracted by Shana's presence. She looked almost the same and fairly happy as well. Kurama felt like reality slapped him in the face. She wasn't just a specter haunting his dreams and thoughts. She was real and very much alive.

She also appeared to be dating one of his best friends.

Shana stopped talking and frowned. "Kazuma, are you listening to me? Is someone there or something?"

Kurama wrenched himself away from the scene and returned to his walk. He tried to clear his head, tried not to let his emotions overwhelm him. The last thing he heard from them was Kuwabara's response:

"Don't worry about it. Just some cranky old dude."

Kurama focused all his energy on counting the trees lining the sidewalk on his way home. He successfully distracted himself from thinking, though he couldn't keep the image of Shana's happy face from clouding the vision of his mind's eye. Was she really doing so well without him? Kurama told himself that was what he wanted but a small part of him had secretly hoped that she would be at least a little upset. Then he could know that she was just as miserable without him as he was without her. To the contrary, she seemed full of life.

"I suppose," Kurama mumbled to himself as he separated his house key from the others on the key ring. He opened his door and set down his briefcase, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I should be happy for them. Who am I to say she can't love who she wishes?"

He sighed and rubbed his temples. Kurama was only half-aware of himself as he procured some food from the kitchen. He was still entertaining thoughts of wringing Kuwabara's neck. The idiot had made his whole reasoning in rejecting Shana obsolete. If she was injured by a demon because of the ex-detective Kurama promised to feed him to a man-eating plant.

Then again, Kurama thought with a sigh as he instinctively pulled a hand through his hair again, Kuwabara didn't retain many demon enemies. He didn't usually rank high on their list of people to kill.

Maybe it was better this way.

Kurama forced himself to consider that possibility. He refused to judge the situation. He expected Shana to be happy without him, why not with Kuwabara? Pushing his own emotions and preconceptions aside, Kurama could find no fault in the arrangement. Kuwabara was still a gentleman no matter how much the fox presently hated him.

Kurama sat down with a book and focused into it. He read until the sun lowered and the words blurred together, until he unwittingly dozed. Kurama fell in and out of odd, disjointed dreams. The last of them was the worst.

He was in a large traditional church with Shana at his arm, her hand nestled in the crook of his arm the same way they always used to walk together. She smiled and thanked him, though Kurama wasn't sure what for. The two began to walk.

Kurama became aware of the long aisle and the people lining the way, standing as they approached. Suddenly his eyes opened to Shana's white dress and something clicked. Was she getting married? Kurama didn't remember asking her to.

Shana stopped at the front and left his arm to walk up the two steps to meet her groom. Kurama stood in the middle of the aisle and watched, speechless, as Kuwabara took her hand. He couldn't move as the priest began to speak. They exchanged vows and somewhere in the middle of the ceremony Shana pulled a baby out of nowhere.

She showed her son to everyone in the room and told Kurama that he couldn't hold the baby, that it would create a paradox. She also let the fox know he was supposed to go to war against Russia and save the continent of Europe. The dream digressed from there.

But Kurama remained where he sat when he awoke, wondering what he would really do if Shana married his friend. Could he sit by and watch that? Could he even support the idea? There was no real objection he could make, aside from his own emotions.

"These feelings don't last," he reminded himself. His conviction gave him enough strength to last through the rest of the night. He didn't dream of her once.

Kurama was at a loss for what to do the next morning. He contacted Kaito, who was teaching at a literary seminar, and several other friends not affiliated with the Spirit Detectives. All were busy with one thing or another. Kurama cursed his bad luck and resigned himself to a quiet week by himself. He had no immediate distractions and thought of creating some just to keep his mind occupied. Kurama refused to dwell on the scene at the ice cream parlor.

By some miracle of good timing Yusuke called him that same morning and invited him to breakfast at the restaurant he and Keiko owned. Kurama took up the offer and headed down to meet the former detective almost immediately. He was greeted warmly and spent a great deal of time just catching up. Yusuke and Keiko had many stories to share of their adventures in the restaurant.

"So Kurama, got any new hot chicks on the horizon?" Yusuke asked as Keiko cleared their table and returned to directing the employees.

"That's not even remotely funny, Yusuke," the aged fox said and sipped his steadily cooling coffee. He wasn't surprised; he knew the subject would come up eventually. It was just another reason he had avoided his comrades.

"I'm just saying." The ex-detective held up his hands in appeasement. "You do a hell of a job attracting them. And hey, you know Yukina's off the hook now if you want to stay in your species this time. She's pretty cute."

Yusuke looked to the ceiling in thought. "But, you probably wouldn't make it to second base before Hiei lopped your head off."

Kurama sent Yusuke a glare that could have frozen Hiei's dragon. The younger man blanched.

"Ha, well, I guess you've heard the news then," Yusuke said and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"I have seen the news, Yusuke," Kurama said simply. He took another gulp of coffee.

Yusuke winced. "Ouch. Blow to the ego, for sure."

Before Kurama could get a word in Yusuke's gaze had shifted behind him to the entrance. A grin lit up his face.

"Hey, speak of the devil," he said waving. "Yo Kuwabara, you two getting the regular today?"

"Do you even have to ask, Yusuke?" Shana's playful voice rang over the chatter of the room. Kurama stiffened and gripped his mug with both hands. He didn't dare turn around and look, afraid of the consequences, afraid of his lack of control. He appeased himself with scenarios of what he could do in the present situation if he hadn't already made the decision to stay as far away from her as possible.

"Umm, Kurama?" Yusuke's voice broke into his train of thought. Kurama looked up and the other man pointed to the mug in his grip. "You killed my cup."

Kurama let the broken glass fall to pieces on the table. He took a napkin to the coffee on his hands.

"Sorry," Kurama said distractedly. Yusuke called one of his employees over to clean up the mess.

"No prob," he said and grinned widely. "But if Kuwabara's girlfriend is bothering you so much why don't you just go over there and steal her back? You are Demon World's number one thief, right?"

Kurama sighed, crossed his arms over his chest, and leaned back in his chair. "It's not that simple, Yusuke."

Yusuke slapped the table roughly. "Geez Kurama, nothing's ever simple with you. What's the big deal? It's not that hard to walk on over there and give Kuwabara what-for for taking your girl. He could use a good beating anyway since I haven't knocked him flat in a while."

"It's not that, Yusuke," Kurama shook his head. "I have already made my decision. Also, there is a side effect of the Dream Flower Pollen I used to erase Shana's memories that would make the situation difficult."

"What do you mean?"

Kurama sighed again. "It's a bit complicated. I stretched the plant's ability to erase memories and used it to void events that would have a direct effect on the future. Her brain was forced to create an event to compensate for the loss of the reality. I don't know what her mind created and therefore have no way of knowing if she would be amenable to a reunion."

Yusuke nodded several times as he stroked his chin. ". . . You lost me."

Kurama chuckled.

"In other words: because I erased her memory of our separation since it involved an explanation of my demon life, her mind had to create a scenario to offset the loss. There had to be a reason for the break up and she unconsciously made one up to fill in the gaps in her memory. There's no telling how I have been portrayed in her mind because of this."

"Ooohhh." Yusuke nodded again, though this time in understanding. "Well that sucks. But you can work around it. I know you, Kurama. You can think your way out of any problem."

Kurama shook his head. "No, Yusuke. As I said, I have already decided. I will not interfere in her life any further. If she wishes to date Kuwabara, so be it. I have no say in the matter. I don't care what she does as long as she is safe."

"Bullshit," Yusuke growled. "If you didn't care I wouldn't have lost a perfectly good cup. And you know what? She's not any safer halfway across the world than she is next to you. Accidents happen, and I know there are humans out there worse than some demons. What's to say she doesn't run into one of them someday? She could get in a car wreck or just be in the wrong place at the wrong time and get herself killed for it. She's probably safer next to you than anywhere else. And you know what, Kurama? You're not playing fair in this whole relationship thing. You didn't even let her decide."

Kurama closed his eyes. He had let Shana decide. That was the only reason he had explained himself to her: he wanted to see what she thought of him, what she would have thought if he let it all play out. Her answer had ripped his heart in half.

"_I want to be a part of your adventure, Kurama."_

"I had to do the same thing with Keiko, you know," Yusuke said quietly.

Kurama looked back at him for an explanation. The hanyo continued.

"When I first started as a detective and Suzaku sent those people under control of the Makai Whistle after Keiko because of me, I thought it would be best to keep her away. But, I'm too selfish, I guess, so I just told her I wouldn't let anything else happen to her. I thought I could keep her safe. But she didn't want that. All she said was 'I'm not asking you to protect me. I just want to know when you go on another mission. I don't want to be left fumbling in the dark till all's said and done.'"

"And, you know, I don't think I could have gotten rid of her if I tried. I think she knew what she was getting into more than I did after that. And that was her decision. She willingly put her life on the line to stay next to me. What else could I say to that other than 'I'll do my best to keep you there.'?"

They were silent for several minutes. Kurama looked over the tables of the restaurant, lost in thought.

"She's going to keep coming back," Yusuke said.

Kurama's eyes snapped back to his friend. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Yusuke, but this isn't a fairytale. We are not soul mates destined for each other. And in reality people lose and they don't always get what they want or what they think they deserve. This is just another story with a bitter aftertaste. But even that goes away with time." The fox held up a finger. "Your mind is stuck in the ideal situation, but you cannot afford to dwell on it; perfection does not exist."

Kurama watched as Yusuke closed his eyes and clenched his hands into fists. Suddenly he reached across the table and grabbed onto Kurama's collar, pulling the redhead in close.

"Listen," Yusuke snarled. "I'm sick and tired of you spouting out 'logical' reasons of why you shouldn't do what you're too scared to do. If you're going to keep killing your happiness because you think it's the right thing you should just hop the next portal back to demon world and go wallow in misery out there. At least that would save the rest of us a headache from your stupidity."

Yusuke shoved Kurama back into his seat and stood. "You may be a genius when it comes to fighting demons, but you sure are an idiot about relationships." With that, the younger man stalked off and left his demon friend sitting alone in the chatter-filled restaurant.

Kurama sat for a few more minutes. He traced small circles in the wood of the table as he contemplated the situation. Maybe Yusuke was making a valid point. The hanyo had been married for almost five years. He would have to know something about relationships if he had been able to stay with Keiko for that long. Kurama reminded himself that Yusuke had something to teach him, even if he was far younger. The fox stood and left, noting that Shana and Kuwabara were no longer in the shop. He would need some time to think things over and perhaps review the effectiveness of his previous strategy.

Kurama didn't do much else that day. He did a few random chores and ran some small errands, all the while thinking over his conversation with Yusuke. He looked at the pros and cons of restarting his relationship with Shana, or at least trying. He couldn't be certain that it would work, that she would want to.

But he wanted more than anything to try because, despite all he said and all he forced himself to feel, he still missed her. He missed her mannerisms and way of thinking; he missed how she saw right through him at times and the way she joked with him; he missed the heat of her body, the taste of her mouth, and her wonderfully unique scent.

Kurama knew it was a matter of want. He had been able to live without Shana for the last six months, albeit more dully and with less unexpected adventures. Kurama knew he could survive through the period of wanting what he was being denied until the feelings had passed and he didn't care anymore. He told himself he didn't need her, that he was fine on his own.

It was true to an extent, but that didn't stop him from wishing.

Kurama glowered at the confines of his house. He picked up his keys and walked out into the waning evening heat. He decided a walk would do him good and set out, letting his legs lead him through the town. Kurama continued his mental debate as he went.

There was one major factor that still kept his desire in check: fear. It was the same fear that kept him from pursuing a relationship with Maya, the fear that he would be the cause of her death. Yusuke was correct in one aspect; the world was not a safe place. Shana had already been affected by that truth. But it was not safer for her to be with him. She could very easily share Kuronue's fate. She had already been injured by a demon once before. How could he be certain her second encounter wouldn't end in death? He would not allow that possibility to present itself.

Kurama looked up. It wasn't surprising that his feet led him where they did. He wanted to see Shana and had been thinking about her for the better part of the day. It was natural his subconscious would agree with him.

He stepped up to the multi-story dormitory. He knew she was still in school and there was a good chance she had stayed in the same dorm room. Kurama figured it wouldn't hurt to look. He just wondered how she was doing.

A familiar figure exited the front double doors as Kurama prepared to enter them. Both men stopped and Kurama watched as a grin lit up Kuwabara's face.

"Hey Kurama," the taller man began in a friendly tone. "What brings you all the way out here?"

Kurama stiffened and glared. Kuwabara knew why he was there; the oaf wasn't that oblivious. "I was on a walk and happened to end up on this side of town."

"Oh. Well, I guess you came to see Shana too." Kuwabara's chest puffed out proudly.

Kurama stuffed his clenched hands in his pockets. They stood in silence for nearly a minute before speech slipped out of the breach in the fox's control.

"Why are you doing this, Kuwabara?" he fairly growled. Of all the women he could have chosen, the ex-detective had to go after Shana. That was saying nothing to the fact that she had accepted him.

Kuwabara sent him a glare. "Somebody had to be there to clean up the mess you left after you decided she wasn't good enough for you. Just be happy it was me and not some creep out to take advantage of her. She was pretty messed up when I started coming around."

"You know as well as anyone that is not why I left her," Kurama said evenly, trying to contain himself.

Kuwabara shook his head. "Not what she said. Look, I don't know what you did to her head but it really screwed her over. Do you know how long she's been happy like this? A month and a half; that's it. The rest of the time she was walkin' around like a zombie thinking she wasn't good enough because she's blind. Thanks to you." He pointed an accusing finger at the fox.

Kurama had nothing to say to that but didn't dare let his mask slip. His friend continued.

"So if you're thinking of dropping in just to say 'hi' you might want to come up with a good apology. The rest of us want to hear one but she needs it the most."

"I cannot-"

"You might want to do it now," Kuwabara interrupted and checked his watch. "She said she was going to bed when I left."

"But-"

Kurama stopped himself that time seeing that Kuwabara had made a mad dash from the front of the building. The fox blinked, scratched his head, and looked back at the silent building. He sighed and stepped through the double doors. Kurama approached Shana's front door. He would go in, apologize, and leave. He would let things continue as they were after he made sure she knew he didn't leave because she was blind. He just couldn't stand that Shana would think of herself that way.

Kurama reached out to knock on the wood but stopped short. His hand paused midair as his mind whirred. Now that he thought about it, his presence could worsen the situation. Shana was happy now so there was no need to dig up her previous pains, no need to remind her of his presence. It would only hurt her more, he was certain. He pressed his forehead against the door with a sigh of defeat.

Kurama couldn't deny his real motives in coming: he wanted to see her, plain and simple. But, because of that, there was a good chance he wouldn't want to leave once he got inside. That would ruin all the work he had put into keeping her safely at a distance. He told himself to get up and walk away, that it was the best thing to do in the situation. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than he already had.

He stood up straight after several long seconds of mental battle. Kurama stuffed his hands in his pockets with a shake of his head and turned away from the door. He took three steps before a hand grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him off balance. Kurama fell hard against the floor.

"You're not going anywhere, fox-boy."

Surprised again, Kurama sat up fully and turned his torso to face Yusuke.

"Yusuke . . . what are you doing here?" Kurama asked as he stood and brushed himself off.

The hanyo pointed an accusing finger at his friend. "I'm keeping you from ruining all my hard work. You can't just walk off like that. It's not how I planned this."

"Hn." Kurama's head whipped to the side as Hiei made his presence known. "The most work you did was pretend that oaf actually had a woman. Amazing it worked considering."

"Whatever Hiei," Yusuke shot back, seemingly ignoring Kurama's presence. "I got Hatakana to help us out too."

"Not like you did much either, slacker," Yusuke grumbled as an afterthought.

"An explination, if you please Yusuke," Kurama cut in before the argument could continue.

"Duh." The hanyo rolled his eyes. "We're playing match-remaker. Everyone was sick of watching you mope around, especially your mom, so me and Hiei put our heads together to get you back with Shana."

"And Kuwabara?" Kurama asked.

"Clueless." Yusuke shrugged. "He's not in on it. He has been helping her study and stuff, but only 'cause he's the T.A. for her chemistry class. That's why they meet for breakfast at my shop once a week. They're just friends. But boy is he mad at you. You just show up again after he was finally able to cheer her up. Kuwa was sure you'd upset her again."

"But that's not the point!" He continued. "The point is: you have to go in there and make up. We were really close to getting you jealous and guilty enough to do it yourself but it looks like you still need our help, stubborn ass. Don't worry though, we're your friends so you can trust us to beat the crap out of you when you need it."

"I appreciate the sentiment, Yusuke, but-"

"Yeah, yeah. You can thank me later." Yusuke pushed open Shana's door. Kurama was caught off guard by Hiei and found himself sprawled across the floor inside her room. The door slammed shut and the light left the room.

Kurama sat up with a sigh and rubbed his head. He knew they were still waiting on the other side of the door and wouldn't let him leave that way. He stood, preparing to exit from the window.

"Hello?" Shana called for him in the darkness.

Kurama stiffened. His eyes fell on her form, visible in the light from the window. She sat up in her bed.

"I-i'm sorry. I did not mean to . . . ." Kurama trailed off as he watched her stand and approach him. His hands clenched into fists and his heart jumped into a wild frenzy. Now that he was alone with her the urge to touch her, to feel her next to him, had increased tenfold.

Shana stopped in front of him. "I know. I heard."

A long silence ensued. Kurama watched her for a time, content to have a few moments before he had to explain himself. Against his better judgement the fox reached out to brush his fingers against her cheek. She leaned into his hand.

"I missed you."

Kurama almost pulled back at her whispered words. His hand fell to his side a moment later as he closed his eyes in frustration.

"You should be angry," he reprimanded.

"Oh, I was," Shana said and wrapped her arms around his torso. Kurama relaxed, draping his arms over her as well. "It took a while, but I got over it."

"So you forgive me?" He leaned his forehead against hers as he gave up on resisting for the time being. He was slowly being pulled back in despite the arguments of the logical portion of his brain. Not that he was much against the reunion.

"Yup, I forgive you," she smiled. "That is, as long as you don't try to erase my memories again."

Kurama grimaced. "I suppose that was the hand Hiei lent to Yusuke's scheme."

"Yeah. I don't know what he did, but I remember everything now," she whispered.

"Then there's no point in trying to leave again?"

"You could," she answered his rhetorical question. "If you want to."

Kurama sighed, "I never wanted to leave. You know that. I couldn't stand seeing you hurt because of me. There were also the possibilities of the future to consider. You are safer without me."

"That's bull," Shana said. "The ones who attacked me were demons, not you. That wasn't your fault. Everyone takes the same risk when they are in a relationship, demon or not. You can't keep me from dying Kurama, it's going to happen eventually."

". . . I know."

They were silent for a long while, still pressed close together.

"It's up to you," Shana told Kurama. "I stand by my previous decision."

He let the quiet linger. Kurama knew what he wanted and was becoming more willing to suffer the consequences for it.

"I would like to be selfish about this," Kurama said.

"I wish you would be," Shana responded. "It's not selfish to want to be happy."

"But that happiness doesn't always last."

"Well of course, silly. But it's there for us to enjoy when it comes around," she said, leaning in until their lips touched. "I want you to be happy. Please don't hurt yourself for my sake."

Kurama refused to answer. He was still trying to make up his mind. But for now he wanted to indulge a little bit.

He brushed his lips back over hers; once, twice, and a third time. He administered each kiss slower than the last as he savored every sensation, unsure if he would receive them again. She responded, melding closer to his body and reaching one hand up to touch his cheek. Kurama didn't want to move for a long time.

He returned to his previous position some time later, his forehead pressed to hers.

"I will try," he finally said. "But I won't promise you anything; I am still not completely certain. In any case, I would like to be a part in your adventure for the time being."

"Good, we can do it together then," Shana smiled.

"Yes . . . but can we perhaps move our adventure to a sitting position? My back is beginning to hurt," Kurama asked as he pulled back and straightened up.

Shana laughed and pulled him into a chair, beckoning him to speak and share what had happened over the last few days. They continued talking well into the night.

ooo

Hah, I always wanted to call Kurama a cranky old man!

Yeah, I think I knocked some people out of character sometimes, but I tried. And I don't think Kurama would get back together with someone on his own. I think he'd need a big shove in that direction and even then it wouldn't be certain. But that's just my take on it. Anyway, here are a few extra notes I'd like to share:

1. I don't know if anyone noticed so I'm going to brag about my literary genius here. XD Or lack thereof. Through this series I have made a progression through music in a sense, moving from instrumental to lyrical music and to poetry, which is the base of lyrical music. I hadn't planned it for the first two but thought of it when I did this one. Just thought it was kinda cool . . . .

2. This is the first piece of fanfiction I have ever finished, so I'm kinda proud of myself. It gives me hope that I can actually complete a project when I start it!

3. This work is something of a miracle seeing that I have never been in a relationship and have never been kissed. All I had to work with was an active imagination and a lot of wishful thinking. I think it turned out alright for it. (God, I'm so lame . . . )

4. Now for another shameless plug! If you liked this story please check out In the Dawn of Twilight. It's a Kurama centric short story and, I think, my best work. Sorry, not a lot of romance, even though there are two female main characters he's interacting with. Please look at it!

Thanks and don't forget to review!


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